In Bad Taste
by Sesshy's Mistress
Summary: After a night of drinking too much, Tony makes a bad decision to prank the Queen of Stars. The results of which were not what anyone expected… **One-Shot!**


**In Bad Taste**

**Sesshy's Mistress**

**Summary: After a night of drinking too much, Tony makes a bad decision to prank the Queen of Stars. The results of which were not what anyone expected…**

**Note: I own nothing but the idea. The characters are not mine.**

**…**

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The fact that her phone was ringing non-stop during her meeting was of no surprise. The fact that it was Pepper who was continuously blowing up her phone was another circumstance. It was rare for the red head to call a person back-to-back, especially another business woman who understood the troubles that came with being in charge. Sighing to herself before standing from her seat, her hand wrapped around her phone.

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I need to take this," She sent the men sitting around her table her best smile. It took little effort to dazzle them with the sugary sweet and seemingly genuine smile. In all honesty, she was beyond ready to be out of there. All of those numbers and charts were too boring for her taste. Why did Fury put her on the paper side of S.H.I.E.L.D. here lately?

Memories of losing her temper with Tony Stark the week before and the ensuing havoc it caused on Fury's ship flashed to the forefront of her mind. Could it be helped that he didn't have a decent back up plan for the ship's system if it got fried by lightning?

"What's wrong, Pepper?"

"I'm so sorry, Serenity!" Pepper's voice was rushed and it sounded like she was almost ready to cry.

"What?" Serenity's brow knit together as she listened to Pepper quickly sound off an even more detailed apology.

"I swear if I would have known I would have stopped him—"

"Him?!" Serenity spoke suddenly as she put two and two together. The only reason Pepper would normally call her and be even slightly upset was if it had something to do with Tony. Given Pepper's current state of duress and her pleading that she be gentle, Serenity could only assume Tony was up to something no good.

"You didn't get the text?" Pepper's voice was now filled with confusion but at least she was calming down slightly. It wasn't quite as hard to understand her like this.

"No," Serenity's voice turned slightly dark as she raked through her memory to recall a text from Tony. She hadn't heard from him in a few days, actually. The thought itself would have been terrifying had she been any other person. She was Cosmos, though, and Tony would pay if his antics caused her too much trouble.

"Oh, thank God!" Pepper whispered to herself but not low enough for Serenity to miss.

"What did he do?" Her voice was turning stern, sounding more like Cosmos than the cheerful version of herself as Serenity. Unbeknownst to her, local electronics started to flicker on and off as her powers reacted to her moods. It didn't matter that she was not transformed, her emotions could often activate a small portion of her powers, enough to influence some of her environment.

"Serenity, he was drunk," Pepper began to explain away whatever it was Tony had done, but Cosmos didn't need to hear it. Tony and liquor was never a good combination, especially if he was pissed at her. Considering their history so far in getting along, one was always pissed at the other.

Before Serenity could open her mouth and make a promise to Pepper that she would only beat Tony near death, not to death, a group of men were headed her direction. From the tool bags they were carrying, she could only guess they were headed to fix the broken elevator just up the hall and next to the meeting room she had just left. When they came upon her, all talking stopped and each man looked at her for only a second before looking away. None of them could keep a straight face and at least half of the guys had a blush staining his cheeks. The others looked to be fighting off a grin. Narrowing her eyes, Serenity decided to just skip Pepper and get to the source.

"I'm going to kill him!" Serenity growled while flipping the phone shut.

"Kill who?" A familiar voice broke her from her anger filled mental tirade. She had just begun to imagine how to pay Stark back for whatever he had done when that other man interrupted her. Serenity didn't know who she disliked more, Stark or Rogers.

"None of your concern," Serenity pocketed her phone and moved to shove past him. She needed to transform and then transport to wherever Tony was hiding his sorry ass. Before she could fully pass him, Steve reached out and grabbed her wrist, preventing her from going further.

"Hey, you might want to calm down. Remember what happened last time?" Steve suggested in a soft whisper. Unfortunately for him, it only served to irritate Serenity further as it reminded her of her last spat with Stark.

"Don't presume to order me around," She jerked her hand from his grip. "Besides, I thought you'd be happy after that. Tony had to drag his ass back to Stark Tower."

"I'm not saying he didn't deserve it," Steve sighed.

"Exactly, and when I'm through with him this time he'll think twice before taking a jab at me," She turned on her heel and summoned a portal only a few steps ahead of her. As her body began to disappear through it, she let her transformation into Cosmos consume her.

She appeared on the other side as Cosmos and, before she could shut the portal down, Steve came jogging through. Her mouth opened to chew him out and order his ass back to the ship.

"I came for the show," Steve smiled softly and held up his hands in a gesture of peace.

Cosmos huffed but nodded. Though she could tolerate Stark most days, Stark and Rogers never got along. There was always that competition between the two to be the best, in charge, or always right. Cosmos normally found it comical. Of course, she couldn't really have any say considering most times she helped Tony in his jibes against the Captain.

After all, it was Rogers who first made the comment about her battle uniform. Since then, no one would drop the subject. Even Tony had taken up to mocking her, especially her older transformations. She still recalled him calling her to his 'office' one day to show her his new 'bouncing baby boy' and how it worked. The transformation from Stark to Iron Man was an exact replica of her transformation into Moon, moves and all.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my two favorite people!" Tony grinned as he entered his basement 'office' only to find Cosmos and Rogers waiting for him. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" His smile momentarily faltered as Cosmos' raging silver one's bore into him.

"What did you do?" She stormed towards him and grabbed a fist full of his black shirt into her tight fist. With strength that surprised Tony, Cosmos had him pushed against the wall and raised off the ground by several inches.

"Well, I woke up and had a penchant for blueberry pancakes-"

"Tony," Her voice was deceptively calm. "Why would Pepper call me in near hysterics, begging not to kill you for a text message?"

"Oh, you meant what did I do the other day?" He smirked down at her. It was so much fun to rile her up now and then so that she wasn't always so serious and emotionless. "Why don't you ask Rogers? I believe he was one of the first I sent it to."

"Me?" Rogers blinked in confusion while retrieving the device Tony had given to him after their first meeting. Still confused as to how it worked, Rogers did note a little envelope on the upper most part of his screen. Was that the text message Tony referred to or the other one, the electronic mail?

Steve didn't have much time to think on it as he found his phone ripped from his hands. Cosmos' nimble fingers were tapping away, bringing up what Steve could only guess as his text message inbox. Moving to stand behind her, Steve watched as she went through a long list of messages.

"Do you ever check your text messages?" Tony spoke with a hint of hurt in his voice that was more than likely fake and just a means to make a jab at Rogers. "Oh, look!" He took the phone from Cosmos and tapped a particular message. "I found this ad online and thought of you. I hope you don't mind that I signed you up for text message updates on sales and promotions?"

Steve's eyes widened at the provocative message and accompanying picture being displayed in his inbox. A heavy blush stained his cheeks. Before he could comment, however, Stark had something else to show him. With only a few flicks of the fingers, Stark pulled up the notorious text message.

"You can't really see anything," Steve grinned from ear to ear as he presented the video file to the two Avengers before him. "Well, anything in regards to your facial features." Tony's grin only grew as Cosmos' face drained of color while her eyes widened and mouth went slack in disbelief. As for Rogers, he was blushing deeply and attempting not to look at Cosmos. Yet, he was having a very hard time looking away from the video footage.

It kept replaying over and over in an endless loop. It was her after just transforming into Cosmos. Normally when transforming the lights emitting from her transformation would cause people to turn away to protect their eyes. It looked like Jarvis' recordings were not affected, or Tony altered the video footage to allow a nearly clear view behind the light show.

"I-I…" Steve stuttered only after Tony ended the video footage.

"I'm going to kill you!" Cosmos growled as her shock waned enough that her head cleared. That wasn't to say that her vision had cleared, too. No, she was seeing red at the moment and it was all directed towards Tony Stark. No one would blame her. Hell, Fury might even let her out of the boring end of S.H.I.E.L.D and back into the real action.

"In my defense," Tony held up his hands in a sign of peace as soon as he realized how truly pissed she was. "I was really drunk, and you can't see any details, just the outlines."

"Stark!" Cosmos moved to jump him, but two arms of steel wrapped around her waist, bringing her against a very large and strong chest. She tried with all her might to escape that hold, but it was pointless. Cosmos cursed Tony in every language known to her as she wiggled in Rogers' hold.

"I suggest you run, Tony. I can't hold her forever," Steve warned and he idly wondered why he was saving Stark's ass. Truly, he deserved a good beating for that file footage. Who knew who all he had sent it out to in his drunken stupor.

"I think you may be right on this one, Captain," a small twitch to his lip acted as a nervous smirk while he backed away while summoning his newest suit. Once armed to the 't', he took off flying out of the basement. He would need to lay low for a few days until Cosmos had worked off some of that aggression.

When Stark was out of her vision, Cosmos turned toward her anger towards Rogers. Leaning her head forward, she suddenly shot it back, slamming it into Steve's nose hard enough to make the cracking sound echo through Stark's lab. Two cries of pain followed, one from Steve and one from Cosmos.

Blood gushed from Steve's nose while a large lump was forming on the back of Cosmos' head. Her powers were already kicking in to heal her, but it still hurt nonetheless. As soon as Rogers dropped her to cup his nose, Cosmos turned and kneed him in the gut for good measure.

"Why the hell did you do that?!" She demanded in her anger. The blow to his stomach wasn't as hard as the one to his head, but it still made Steve double over slightly as he tried to catch his breath. "Are you some sort of pervert or something?"

"I like Tony almost as much as you right now," Rogers groaned. "But killing him is taking it a bit too far."

"The hell it is!"

"Look, I understand how you feel-"

"Oh, so you know what it is like to have a video footage of you naked sent to nearly everyone you know?!" Her voice was now borderline hysterical and Steve noted the unshed tears in her eyes and the blush she was fighting to hide.

"Well, no, but you aren't the only one Tony enjoys tormenting," Steve tried to reason with her softly.

"This was too far and when I find him I am going to rip him a new one," Cosmos fought off a sniffle and turned quickly so that she could try and compose herself. Steve may not have had super powers like her or Thor, but his eyesight was good enough to see the subtle shake of her shoulders that was a good indication of her struggling not to cry.

Sighing softly, Steve walked forward and turned her towards him. He had to use his extra strength as she fought his grip, but once she was turned, he pulled her into his arms, hugging her softly. It was hard to get the image from the video out of his head, but he pushed it aside with all of his might as he tried to comfort the emotionally distraught woman.

She never cried, but he could feel the struggle she was going through based on how tense she stayed in his arms and the trembled that ran through her body. "Are you going to be okay?" Steve finally asked when fifteen minutes had passed by in utter silence.

Like flipping a switch, Cosmos pushed him away from her with a great show of strength many would not believe could come from her. Flicking her hair back over her shoulders and straightening her back, Cosmos pushed past Steve and towards the opening portal.

"I won't go after him tonight," She promised. "I will get even, though."

"I don't doubt it," Steve smiled as he turned to follow her. She had stopped just short of the portal and was waiting on him.

"Also…"

"Yeah?"

"If you tell anyone about what just happened here, I will rip you a new one," Her eyes narrowed on him but he only nodded.

"I won't say a word," he stuck his hand out to shake on it, but she only turned to walk through the portal. Not wanting to be left behind, Steve followed her through. They reappeared back on the S.H.I.E.L.D. helipad and Cosmos quickly made her exit. Steve stood for a while and watched her walk away with her head held high.

She was as stubborn as she was beautiful, but he couldn't help but wonder how much longer she could keep up that brave front. No matter what she claimed, he could see through her brave façade. Inside she was hurting. Like him, she was a person lost in time, finding herself in a world that would never truly understand her. Maybe this is what kept drawing him to her.

Steve turned the opposite way and made his way to find Fury. He needed to give the guy a heads up about Tony's antics and the resulting sour mood Cosmos was in currently. Maybe a few missions on the field would help her work out that anger. As he was walking through the halls, he came across a group of three men crowded around a cell phone. They were watching something, and as he drew closer, he recognized the background noise coming from the phone.

Without saying a word, Steve ripped the phone from the center man's hand and crushed it in his grip, "Show some respect." The three men shrunk at the harsh gaze being directed towards them by the world's first Avenger. "Spread the word, no one is to watch that again. If they don't listen to you, then I'll be having a talk with them."

"Yes sir," One of the men nodded before he and his two buddies backed away from the obviously irate Captain. Once they were out of sight, Steve tossed the remains of the phone and continued on his way.

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**Yeah, this did not go as I had planned. Oh well. It is something! Now Eleven cannot fuss at me for not updating! :P**

**For those of you wondering, I'm a full-time student in a very intense medical program. I work part-time on the weekend for Food Lion pulling at least 20 hrs, and I am planning my wedding to boot. So, fanfiction is on the backburner for now. Sorry!**

**RxR**

**Sesshy's Mistress**


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